Power of Paradox - Respectful Candor
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How well do you know your strengths? Which ones are true strengths?
We will unpack twelve pairs of traits that are what Harrison Assessments considers to be paradoxical pairs, they at first seem contradictory but in fact are complimentary and synergistic. When someone can tap into both traits, this gives them a genuine strength. Harrison Assessments is a behavior-based assessment, it is not a personality test. Behavior can be changed.
Let’s start this week with communication. What are the two paradoxical traits related to communication? They are the ability to be frank as well as diplomatic, Harrison Assessments refers to this as respectful candor.
Some people tend to be more frank or direct in their communication style and others tend to be more diplomatic or indirect. People that can be both frank and diplomatic are more likely to be able to get their communication across. It does not mean that one must always be frank and diplomatic together all the time. Rather, when someone is strong on both traits, this gives them the ability to adapt their communication style to the recipient. This is situational leadership in action.
So, what are some things we can do if we tend to be more frank or indirect in our communication style?
1. Discover and acknowledge your current communication style – change first starts with awareness.
· If we are not aware of how our behavior is impacting ourselves and others, it is not possible to change.
2. Realize the importance of developing the complementary trait
3. Share your communication style with your team members!
· If you tend to be very direct in your communication style, you could say something like the following: “I tend to be very frank when I communicate. I’ve realized that this can be problematic at times. What I’m working on is being more diplomatic in my communication. If you feel that I am being too frank and not diplomatic enough, could you please let me know? This would help me as I want to be able to get the message across.”
· If you tend to be more indirect in your communication style, have an existing team. Perhaps you realize you have not been very warm or empathetic and want to change that. You could say something like this: “I just learned about a new concept called paradoxical traits and want to work on changing my management style. I realize that in the past I have not come across as very warm or empathetic. I do care about the team, but my actions may have not shown this and at times I may have come across as being harsh. In the future, if you feel that I am being too harsh on you or the team, please let me know. I would appreciate your feedback as I want the team to not only meet our goals but also realize I have your back.”
· As a manager, your team members may not feel comfortable asking you to change how you interact with them, this is especially true for new team members. When you not only give them permission but also ask them to do this, it changes the dynamic and creates a better working environment that benefits everyone.
Bonus Insight: In addition to personal preferences, there are also cultural factors at play when it comes to communication style. To generalize, Western European cultures tend to be more direct while some Asian cultures tend to be more diplomatic. Even in the United States, there is a difference between Northern and Southern states. How people communicate in New York and Boston would at times be considered rude if they spoke in the same manner in Georgia. This however does not negate the value of this paradox. For example, Toyota, a Japanese company that lived in a culture where diplomatic communication was highly valued, was able to teach its people to speak up and be more direct in how they communicated by stopping the manufacturing line and bringing up issues, something they had not been used to in the past and at first would have felt uncomfortable and difficult to do. This change in behavior resulted in Toyota becoming one of the most successful auto manufacturers in the world.
We could all benefit from being able to communicate with respectful candor.
Contact Claritas Consulting & Coaching for a complimentary consultation if you or your team would like to develop respectful candor.
An additional resource for those of you that like to read is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High.
Follow Claritas Consulting & Coaching on LinkedIn for more information on the #powerofparadox.